I know when we hear catch words like “tribe” it can often be off-putting. But lately I have found that things are off-putting for a reason. Sometimes it is fear, sometimes jealousy or misunderstanding. Sometimes it is time and commitments.
For whatever reason, when we have a visceral reaction to something, it is usually towards an end. Call it our lizard brain; call it consciences, intuition, God. Call it kismet, for just like that, our paths have crossed and neither of us will be left the same.
This is also true of people. They are challenging and judgmental. They are exhausting and imperfect.
And that’s the good news 🙂 Challenge, imperfection, the exhaustion of hard work, yea even the asshole judgmental moments are the dirty work of personal growth.
Female friendships that work are relationships in which women help each other to belong to themselves. -Louise, Bernikow, Author
So here’s the bad news. Not all friendships work, female or not. However, all relationships can help us better belong to ourselves; loving and not losing ourselves.
We no longer routinely interact with the myriad of woman with whom we used to. We don’t sit and watch an elder cook while create, manage, feed, etc. We don’t listen to the ballads of the warrior, intent for the nugget of gold she has brought back from her quest.
We don’t risk; and thus, we rarely reap the rewards of dynamic, engaging, challenging, growth inducing friendships.
So the next time you find something off-putting, don’t be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don’t run to it and mock it for being exactly what you expected. Don’t run away from it and hide.
Sit with it, like you would a friend, and grow. And while you are at it, recognize the power of a tribe that is both like and unlike you. Recognize that even a buzz word can be full of meaning of life.