Honest Farts

Early in the honeymoon phase of mine and my husband’s ten-year relationship, I had drifted into sleep while he quietly finished his book. Somewhere in the moments of early sleep and deep body relaxation, I let one rip. I have never in my life farted so loudly I woke myself up, but that night I did. Mortified as the realization of what had woken me dawned, I defensively mumble/yelled “I HAD A BAD DREAM!”Only to be greeted by a gale of guffaws and giggles.Today, I held my sick daughter, and as she drifted into sleep, she ripped a doozy of a fart. I mean, it woke her up!!! But this time, the farter was the one guffawing and giggling.She didn’t pretend it was a bad dream.As I have slowly broken down barriers to speaking and loving truth (regardless of its oft’ embarrassing illuminations), I am blown away by the simple honesty of a sleepy fart. Rewind 6 YearsAn exhausted, desperately ill traveler, made her way through the NYC Subway. Steps from the train, praying for a miracle, a wave of sickness overtook her. No other choice but to plow forward, closer to medicine, my doctor, and rest, I stepped into a car, with shit running down my legs, to catch the eye of Sarah Jessica Parker. I looked like hell. Dumpsters fires smelled better than I did. I had no choice to but to move close, take a seat, and pray it didn’t happen again.It did.Embarrassed couldn’t scratch the surface of how I felt. Believing my body to have betrayed me, anger bubbled in belly, with the next round of sick. SJP buried her nose deeper in her book, I looked for anything to hide behind. You see, my body hadn’t betrayed me. It was only speaking the truth of the abuse I had visited on it for days. Overextension, stress, fear, exposure to toxins, and much more. My body had began (not so quietly) speaking truth that morning. It eventually digressed to shouting, as I had to be carried to my theater seat. Two hours later, my body had only arrived at the truthful destination it had heralded for the previous 8 hours. As I have slowly broken down barriers to speaking and loving truth (regardless of its oft’ embarrassing illuminations), I am blown away by the simple honesty of listening to our bodies. If we don’t, we will all soon be looking for places and lies to hide behind.

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