Disassociated

Worlds blurred and seas risen

Suddenly I am in prison;

Fog the eyes and blur the senses

Making strong-held inferences.

Fears at the forefront

Reason at the back

Surely I must confront

How it is it that I attack

This pain. So fresh so raw

How do I hold space for all

This mess. So ugly and new

My whole life it suddenly undo-es.

Fear or pain, it’s all the same

Rounding corners, making shame

Take it down, douse it in flames

Burn it all, the eternal pain

Of failure, not enough,

In this world I simply stuff

It all down. Hiding out

Makings fears shout

The truth to my scattered

Brain, always the matter,

Never sane. Now you I must meet

Where honesty and life complete

Each other’s questions.

Making very strong suggestions.

Truth is known. And that’s a fact.

To seek it out, I make this pact.

I will keep you safe, I will keep me calm.

You are all my goal; no qualm

Will dissuade me from my charge

Of making safety by in large

The goal. Associate this.

Safety with bodily comfort is

Protection, a strong held buffer

From physical sensations she shouldn’t suffer.

Cut it out, let it mend

It’s ok if it dies again.

Life cannot hold this pain

Without a heavier, deeper strain.

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